


Too Hot to Erase!

by fearlessly



Series: ONE [11]
Category: Glee
Genre: Attempt at Heterosexual Smut, Episode: s01e11 Hairography, F/M, Hairography, Mentions of Ground Beef, Sexting, Texting format, another attempt at humour, episode: s01 e11
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 16:31:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11467386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fearlessly/pseuds/fearlessly
Summary: Santana has a bad case of the hormones. Puck has a cure. Or does he?





	Too Hot to Erase!

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Santana's "too-hot-to-erase" sexts to Puck (while he was supposed to be babysitting with Quinn) in the episode, 1x11 - Hairography.
> 
> Trust me when I tell you that without [Aj4668](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Aj4668), Puck's sexts would be far too proper, thorough, boring, and punctuated. Thank you, dear.

 

 

 

**[From Santana:]**

**I’ve gots a bad case of the hormones.**

                                     

[From Puck:]        

I got a cure

 

**[From Santana:]**

**Wanky!**

                          

[From Puck:]

Oh yeah? Let’s hook it up tonite

 

**[From Santana:]**

**Sounds like a plan. But aren’t you with Tubbers? I can’t believe she actually asked you to babysit. That’s so 90s!**

 

[From Puck:]

I’ll cum over when I’m done. Til then, tell me bout ur panties

 

**[From Santana:]**

**I’m not wearing any.**

 

[From Puck:]

U’r smokin n when I get there it’s gonna get hotter. U know the Puckasaurus never disappoints

 

**[From Santana:]**

**Do you think I’m TOO hot?**

 

[From Puck:]

U fuckin know it! U don’t even know how many times I’ve hid under the bleachers n watched Cheerios practis

 

**[From Santana:]**

**You better be watching only me and not those other bitches. Except for Britt-Britt. She’s not a bitch.**

 

[From Puck:]

Speeking of, where’s that 3some u promised me? U n Britt wud b sizzling hot all over the Puckster

 

**[From Santana:]**

**I’m not sure your bod could handle the both of us. Just keep your eyes forward for now, Puckerman.**

 

[From Puck:]

Yes ma’am

 

**[From Santana:]**

**So are you done babysitting yet? I needs to get my mack on.**

 

[From Puck:]

No. I’m a little tied up rite now. These kids r hellions

 

**[From Santana:]**

**Well what’s Tubbers doing? Can’t she handle kids? She’s had enough practice with dating Frankenteen and all.**

 

[From Puck:]

She’s tied up 2. We’re actually tied up. And Q is bitchin at me

 

**[From Santana:]**

**You’re boring me. Maybe I should go convince Britts that it’s time for lady-kisses.**

 

[From Puck:]

Lady kisses my ass! My dick is worth the wait. I know u wanna blow me

 

**[From Santana:]**

**…**

 

[From Puck:]

Baby?

**[From Santana:]**

**Convince me I shouldn’t turn off my phone.**

 

[From Puck:]

Tell me more bout u goin commando under that short skirt

 

**[From Santana:]**

**Who says I’m wearing a skirt?**

                                            

[From Puck:]

C’mon every1 knows the Cheerios wear uniforms 24/7

 

**[From Santana:]**

**I can’t be held accountable for the fact that I’m a hot Latina.**

 

[From Puck:]

Not as hot as a hot Jew, but a hot Latina cums a close 2nd

 

**[From Santana:]**

**You know I’m the hottest bitch, not only at McKinley, or in Lima Heights Adjacent, but in ALL of Ohio.**

 

[From Puck:]

So take off the skirt then.

 

**[From Santana:]**

**I’m one step ahead of you, Puckerman.**

 

[From Puck:]

Hmm send proof

 

**[From Santana:]**

**In your dreams. When I release images of my hot bod it will be in sex tape format.**

 

[From Puck:]

That’s hot

 

**[From Santana:]**

**And it hasn’t even been made yet.**

 

[From Puck:]

I can help with that. I’ll steal Artie’s cameras n we can get our grind on

 

**[From Santana:]**

**Get in line, Puck. You’re not the only one who wants to get with this.**

 

[From Puck:]

Maybee not but I’m the only 1 who can get the job done. All these Lima losers don’t know how to pleaz a woman like the Puckster does

 

**[From Santana:]**

**Well, there’s no denying your hawk turns me on.**

 

[From Puck:]

The ladies can’t resist it, I know. Imagine the hawk right there with u baby. Between those long dark Latina legs

 

**[From Santana:]**

**AND, he’s back! Now you’re talking. It took you long enough.**

 

[From Puck:]

Fuck off! I’m dealin with Schuester’s 3 hellion nefews n worse, Q is pretendin to be Madonna circa Papa Don’t Preach

 

**[From Santana:]**

**What even is that? You’ve killed my buzz, Puckerman. It’s time I take matters into my own hands.**

 

[From Puck:]

Just wait 4 me. Q gets tired easily now. Once she n the hellions r sleepin I’ll cum over

 

**[From Santana:]**

**…**

 

[From Puck:]

Sound like a plan?

 

[From Puck:]

San?

 

[From Puck:]

Baby u better not b slippin n slidin without Puckzilla

 

[From Puck:]

Shit, girl!

 

**[From Santana:]**

**I started and ended without you, Puckerman. But if you’re good I’ll let you take me out for a burger.**

 

[From Puck:]

And round 2?

 

**[From Santana:]**

**Ever since Britt started buying raw meat to feed to Lord Tubbington, ground beef makes me horny so it’s a possibility.**

                                                                                    

[From Puck:]

Righteous. Meet u at Kewpee

 

**[From Santana:]**

**Wanky!**


End file.
